Parenting Styles

There are many different ways to raise children and many different parenting strategies and styles for caregivers to follow. The manner in which a child is cared for and parented may affect them cognitively as well as socially and emotionally. “A parenting style is an attitude that is expressed toward the child across a wide-range of situations, whereas practices or behaviors are expressed toward the child's behavior in specific situations (Williams et al., 2009). It is important of a parent or caregiver to know which parenting style they choose to use when raising their children and what the consequences of this choice may be.

The behaviors of a parent have less of an affect on a child than the child’s overall parenting style. “Although specific parenting behaviors, such as spanking or reading aloud, may influence child development, looking at any specific behavior in isolation may be misleading …. specific parenting practices are less important in predicting child well-being than is the broad pattern of parenting” (Darling, 1999). This is not to say that parenting behaviors may not negatively or positively affect a child; however the overall impact of these behaviors is less than the impact of the parenting style. According to Martin and Hite (2014) “there are four main categories of parent child interactions, based on their level of demandingness and responsiveness.” Diana Baumrind developed the system that breaks down parenting into four different styles. These parenting styles are Authoritarian parenting, Authoritative parenting, Neglectful parenting, and Indulgent parenting (Santrock, 2016, p. 170).

Authoritarian parenting can be divided up into two different types. These types include nonauthoritarian-directive parents who are directive but not intrusive or autocratic in their use of power over their children, and authoritarian-directive, who are highly intrusive in their children’s lives (Darling, 1999). Authoritarian parenting could be characterized by high parental control, verbal hostility, restrictiveness, and discipline strategies (Williams et al., 2009). Authoritarian parents are highly demanding and directive, but not responsive to their children. They provide their children with well-ordered structured environments with rules that are clearly stated and must be followed (Darling, 1999). According to Santrock, (2016), “Children of authoritarian parents are often unhappy, fearful, and anxious about comparing themselves with others; they also fail to initiate activity and have weak communication skills” (p. 170).

Authoritative parenting is both demanding and responsive in nature (Darling, 1999). They support their children’s constructive behavior but also expect independent age appropriate behavior from their children (Santrock, 2016, p. 171). These parents are assertive with their children but not intrusive or restrictive of their children like authoritarian-directive parents. “Authoritative parenting might include high warmth and involvement, clear communication of expectations, reasoning, democratic participation, and general pleasantness” (Williams et al., 2009). According to Santrock (2016), “children whose parents are authoritative are often cheerful, self-controlled and self-reliant, and achievement-oriented” (p. 171).

Neglectful parenting, also called uninvolved parenting is low in both responsiveness and demandingness. This style of parenting might encompass both parents who reject their children called rejecting-neglecting and regular neglectful parents (Darling, 1999). This type of parent sees their lives as more important than their children. The children who grow up in this situation are socially incompetent, have poor self-control, do not handle independence well, have low self-esteem, are immature, and often show patterns of truancy and delinquency (Santrock, 2016, p. 171).

Indulgent parenting is more responsive in nature than it is demanding (Darling, 1999). These parents provide lax and inconsistent discipline for the child, show ignorance to their child’s misbehavior, and are often not self-confident in their parenting (Williams et al., 2009). They often allow self-regulation and avoid confrontation with their children. There are two different types of indulgent parent’s nondirective parents and democratic parents who are lenient but are more conscientious, engaged, and committed to the child (Darling, 1999). According to Santrock (2016), children whose parents are indulgent might be domineering, egocentric, noncompliant, and have unsatisfying peer relationships (p. 171).

Parents can choose whatever parenting style they want to raise their children but the authoritative parenting style is the most popular. Sewell and Higgins (2014) stated that “many recognize the authoritative parenting style as the most suitable for proper parenting that generally yields plosive results in behavioral development in children”.  In a study of adolescents that reported being raised with authoritative parent’s research found higher levels of social development (Williams et al., 2009). According to Santrock (2016), “they tend to maintain friendly relations with peers, cooperate with adults, and cope well with stress”(p. 171). The increased amount of independent age-appropriate behavior expected of these children leads to them becoming capable. “Children of authoritative parents are usually capable, self-assured, and popular in their social life” (Martin & Hite, 2014). In a study parent-reported authoritative parenting was associated with less disruptive behavior in their 3 to 6 year old children (Williams et al., 2009).

References

Darling, N. (1999). Parenting Styles and Its Correlates. ERIC Digest. IL: ERIC Clearinghouse on Elementary and Early Childhood Education Champaign. Retrieved from http://www.ericdigests.org/1999-4/parenting.htm/

Martin, L. & Hite, V. (2014). How Do You Affect Your Child. Developmental Physiology at Vanderbilt. Retrieved from https://my.vanderbilt.edu/developmentalpsychologyblog/2014/04/how-do-you-affect-your-child/

Santrock, J.W. (2016). Essentials of Lifespan Development (4^th ed.). New York: McGraw-Hill

Sewell, A. & Higgins, P. (2014). Recognizing The Importance of Parental Influince in Social and Behavioral Development. Developmental Physiology at Vanderbilt. Retrieved from https://my.vanderbilt.edu/developmentalpsychologyblog/2014/04/recognizing-the-importance-of-parental-influence-in-social-and-behavioral-development/

Williams, L. R., Degnan, K. A., Perez-Edgar, K. E., Henderson, H. A., Rubin, K. H., Pine, D. S., Steinberg, L., & Fox, N. A. (2009). Impact of Behavioral Inhibition and Parenting Style on Internalizing and Externalizing Problems from Early Childhood through Adolescence. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 37(8), 1063–1075. Received from 

Social and Emotional Development

There are many factors that can affect a child’s social and emotional development. It is important that parents and caregivers be aware of how a child develops socially and emotionally and how they can help this process. One activity that can assist development in both areas is play. Sociodramatic play or pretend play is common in early childhood and can have many positive affects on a child’s development. According to Coplan and Arbeau (2009) “Sociodramatic Play becomes increasingly common from ages 3 to 6 years, and is widely viewed as a positive contributor toward cognitive, language, and social-emotional functioning (p 148).

Play forces children to interact with each other and helps them develop social skills. According to Coplan and Arbeau (2009), “Play is the primary context for fostering social interactions with peers for young children and that it helps develop all the skills needed for social interactions” (p 149). While children are playing they also learn how to explore, understand, and regulate their emotions. “Pretend play offers children opportunities to relay, elaborate, explore, and ultimately master situations that involve intense emotional arousal. These experiences help to regulate emotions and reduce anxiety and ultimately promote the development of emotion regulation skills (Coplan & Arbeau, 2009, p151).

A type of controversial play that helps children learn self regulation of their emotions is roughhousing. Rough and tumble play referred to as RT by Coplan and Arbeau, is important in social interactions. RT gives children an outlet to be aggressive while forcing them to control the amount of aggression that they exhibit. “Regulation of aggression may be enhanced by participation in RT play, particularly through the enhancement of excusive control” (Coplan & Arbeau, 2009, p151). Parents and caregivers should recognize how play is important to development and allow children the time to partake in play. RT play may scare some parents and caregiver; however its part in helping a child learn to regulate their aggression should be taken into account when deciding whether or not to allow the child to partake in this activity.

It is important that children engage in prosocial behaviors in early childhood to have a healthy social and emotional development. In her article Bergen talks about a series of studies that followed children who exhibited nonsocial or "withdrawn" play behaviors during preschool. According to Bergen (2002) “they found that early social withdrawal predicts peer rejection, social anxiety, loneliness, depression, and negative self-esteem in later childhood and adolescence, as well as having negative implications for academic success”. It is important that parents and caregivers give their children the opportunities they need to be social in early childhood. This may include setting up play dates, putting the child in childcare, enrolling them in preschool, and enrolling them in kindergarten.

 During the preschool years children begin to direct more of their speech at their peers and begin to interact with a wider range of their peers (Coplan & Arbeau, 2009, p145). This is an important step in a child becoming social and would be greatly hindered if the child did not have access to peers. Preschool children are just learning how to interact with their peers and may need some help from a more experienced individual. According to the Mid-State Central Early Childhood Direction Center (2002), “it is the role of the parent and caregivers to help “coach” a child through social interactions when they need it” (p. 4). Engaging in play and conversation is the main basis of how children develop socio-emotionally in early childhood. It is important that parents and caregivers help children learn how to interact nicely and how to resolve conflicts that may arise among them and their peers. Early childhood is also the time when a child’s personality and emotional control is developing. What they learn in their early childhood can create the foundation for their life long social interactions (Mid-State Central Early Childhood Direction Center, 2002, p. 4). Teachers can help their students to identify their emotions. According to Raver (2003) “using modeling, role play, and group discussion, teachers can devote relatively small amounts of time to instruct children on how to identify and label feelings, how to properly communicate with others about emotions, and how to resolve disputes with peers” (p. 1) Being able to label their feelings allows the child to better communicate their emotions and can help in the child’s emotional adjustment. A child’s early emotional adjustment can affect how well they do in school. According to Raver (2003) children who are emotionally well adjusted have a significantly greater chance of early school success while children who had serious emotional difficulty faced risks of early school difficulty (p. 1).

Interactions that young children have can affect their self-concept and their self confidence. Young children who receive positive feedback from caregivers about their abilities and attempts to succeed have higher self-esteem and self-image than those who receive negative feedback and have their achievements downplayed and ignored (Oswalt, 2016). A child’s peers also affect their self-esteem and self-image. Children with nice, including peers develop a positive self-image. Children who are regularly left out, teased, or bullied develop a low self-image (Oswalt, 2016). The child’s temperament can also affect their self-esteem. Children with the ability to cope with frustrations and challenges are likely to think of themselves as successful, valuable, and good leading to a higher self-esteem. Children who are easily discouraged and frustrated may need extra help to complete tasks which can lead to lower self-esteem (Oswalt, 2016). Caregivers can help their child develop positive self-esteem by teaching them how to work through frustrations and challenges by themselves.

Refrences

Bergen, D. (2002). The Role of Pretend Play in Children's Cognitive Development. Early Childhood Research and Practice, 4(1), p. 1-13. Retrieved from http://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/ED464763.pdf

Coplan, R. J., & Arbeau, K. A. (2009). Peer Interactions and Play in Early Childhood. In K. H. Rubin, W. M. Bukowski & B. Laursen (Eds.), Handbook of Peer Interactions, Relationships, and Groups. (143-154). New York: The Guilford Press. Retrieved from https://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=6x9cfetz-3kC&oi=fnd&pg=PA143&dq=play+early+childhood&ots=l2tZdFy9eT&sig=rpDMi8JDSLH3qs72Dg4_60M6M3o#v=onepage&q=play%20early%20childhood&f=false

Mid-State Central Early Childhood Direction Center (2002). Preschoolers (3 to 5 Year Olds). Understanding Social and Emotional Development in Young Children. Retrieved from http://ecdc.syr.edu/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/BulletinSocialEmotionalDevelopment2.pdf

Oswalt, A. (2016). Early Childhood Emotional and Social Development Identity and Self-esteem. Community Counseling Services.  Retrieved from http://www.communitycounselingservices.org/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=12766&cn=462

Raver (2003). Young Children’s Emotional Development and School Readiness. ERIC Digest. IL: ERIC Clearinghouse on Elementary and Early Childhood Education Champaign. Retrieved from http://jpkc.zjys.net.cn/jpkc/ImgUpload/files/young%20children's%20emotional%20development%20and%20school%20readiness.pdf

Development Through Play

            Early childhood is an important time in a child’s development. This development can be impacted by the activities that the child engages in. One of the most impactful activities a child can engage in is play. According to Santrock “play makes important contributions to young children’s cognitive and socioemotional development” (2016, p. 183). Due to the fact that play is important to development it is imperative that parents, guardians, and educators be aware of how play can impact a child’s development and how they can help the child learn through play.

            Play is a major way in which children learn to pretend and develop creativity. Today the need for pretend play has lessened with the presence of extremely realistic toys becoming available on the market for parents, caregivers, and educational institutions to purchase. Children no longer need to pretend that an object is something else because realistic toys are available. For example children of the past would pretend that something like a flat rock was a fried egg or that a paper role was a carton of milk when playing house or acting like a chef. However now there are toys that look like realistic food products for children to play with. With the presence of such toys children do not need to learn to pretend that something is something else. Due to this fact they do not develop the creativity needed to imagine such things. Parents, caregivers, and teachers can help their children learn how to pretend by using props instead of realistic toys and having these props be multifunctional in play (Bodrova, 2008). A paper towel role can be a carton of milk, but it can also be a rolling pin, a binocular, or a pirate’s sword. Having the child imagine that something is something different from its physical appearance makes them exercise their minds and challenges their thinking. The exploration of alternate symbolic representations during shared pretense may push the child to try new things, thus encouraging cognitive flexibility and the development of creativity” (Coplan, & Arbeau, 2009, p151). The development of creativity and the ability to imagine in tern affects the usage of a child’s oral language. According to Bodrova (2008) play increases the use of oral language in four and five year old children. These children need oral language in order to assign new meaning to toys, props and their own actions. Parents, caregivers, and teachers can help a child develop their language skills by engaging in pretend play that has set roles for objects and rules to play by. “Language and communicative skills may be aided during the discussions, negotiations, and conflicts surrounding the establishment of “roles and rules” during shared pretense, in which children practice words and phrases” (Coplan & Arbeau, 2009, p152).

            Play is not only helpful in developing creativity, language, and communication skills. Play can also be a great way to develop literary skills in young children. According to Sonnenschein, Baker, Serpell, and Schmidt (2000), it has been found that young children’s literacy knowledge increased after spending time in three different literacy enriched play centers in their preschool (p.107). This finding shows how play can positively affect a child’s literary knowledge. Using literacy in play helps children realize its importance in their lives without suppressing their energy and creativity in a strict classroom setting. “Play provides unique opportunities for young children to understand the authentic purpose of reading and writing and to practice reading and writing skills in a meaningful context” (Bodrova, 2008).  Incorporating literacy materials into a child’s play can help the child academically. According to Bergen (2002), in a longitudinal study it was found that “children who had high levels of play with literary materials in preschool were likely to be spontaneous readers of place signs and have greater pretend verbalizations in a “town-building” activity at age 5”. When literacy materials have been embedded into play in schools it was found that kindergartners ability to read print in their environment was increased (Bergen, 2002).

Using play to teach children about literacy can help the child develop a positive outlook on literacy in general that can carry on into their futures. “Play, with its rich opportunities for social interaction and its intrinsic rewards, is an especially potent context for fostering the positive dispositions towards literacy that are crucial to the appropriation of this important cultural practice” (Sonnenschein et al., 2000, p.107). The use of play to teach literacy is not only important in a school setting it is important at home too. The child’s parent/s or caregiver/s have a major role on how their child will view literacy in their futures. “Children benefit when their parents have the belief that reading is enjoyable and communicate by their actions their own enjoyment to their children” (Sonnenschein et al., 2000, p.121). It is important for parent/s or caregiver/s to show their children that literacy is enjoyable and can be fun. They can do this through incorporating literacy into play with their children or engaging in reading times that are interactive and fun for the child.

When a child plays pretend or make-believe games with the peers or care givers they often engage in role-play and pretend to be someone other than themselves. Role-play requires children to act out others thoughts and actions, and to portray emotions appropriate to varied situation (Bergen, 2002). In order to do this children need to think through what emotions certain situations would elicit and act in accordance with these emotions. The roles and rules of make-believe games help children to develop the ability of self-regulation of their emotions. According to Bodrova (2008) “Development of self-regulation in play becomes possible because of the inherent relationship that exists between roles children play and rules they need to follow when playing these roles”. More information on the effects of play on self regulation and emotional development will be available on another post on social and emotional development.

References

Bergen, D. (2002). The Role of Pretend Play in Children's Cognitive Development. Early Childhood Research and Practice, 4(1), p. 1-13. Retrieved from http://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/ED464763.pdf

Bodrova, E. (2008) Make‐believe Play Versus Academic Skills: a Vygotskian Approach to Today’s Dilemma of Early Childhood Education. European Early Childhood Education Research Journal, 16(3), p 357-369. Retrieved from http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/13502930802291777

Coplan, R. J., & Arbeau, K. A. (2009). Peer Interactions and Play in Early Childhood. In K. H. Rubin, W. M. Bukowski & B. Laursen (Eds.), Handbook of Peer Interactions, Relationships, and Groups. (143-154). New York: The Guilford Press. Retrieved from https://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=6x9cfetz-3kC&oi=fnd&pg=PA143&dq=play+early+childhood&ots=l2tZdFy9eT&sig=rpDMi8JDSLH3qs72Dg4_60M6M3o#v=onepage&q=play%20early%20childhood&f=false

Santrock, J.W. (2016). Essentials of Lifespan Development (4^th ed.). New York: McGraw-Hill

Sonnenschein, S., Baker, L., Serpell, R., & Schmidt, D. (2000). Reading is a Source of Entertainment: The Importance of The Home Perspective for Children’s Literacy Development. In K. A. Roskos & J. F. Christie (Eds.), Play and Literacy in Early Childhood: Research From Multiple Perspectives. (p. 107-124). Mhwah, New Jersey: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Publishers. Retrieved from https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Susan_Sonnenschein/publication/266675509_Reading_is_a_source_of_entertainment_The_importance_of_the_home_perspective_for_literacy/links/5437160b0cf2bf1f1f2d462e.pdf

Fostering Emotions and Behaviors

            During early childhood a child is developing emotionally and beginning to form a patter of behavior that may stay with them far into the future. During this time a parent or caregiver can help positively shape the child’s development. Two common practices that can be used to shape a child’s emotional and behavioral development are operant conditioning and emotion coaching. While these practices can greatly help development, a caregiver’s emotional competence and their reactions to the child’s emotions also play a major factor.

            The concept of operant conditioning goes off of the idea that learning certain behaviors is a result of the relationship of that behavior and the reward or punishment that results (Sewell & Higgins, 2014). B. F. Skinner theorized that “through operant conditioning the consequences of a behavior produce changes in the probability of the behavior’s recurrence” (Santrock, 2016, p. 21). Giving a rewarding stimulus to a behavior will make that behavior more likely to recur while a negative stimulus will make it less likely to recur. Some parents and guardians choose to ignore negative behavior thinking that their lack of interest will deter the child from doing said action.  However ignoring negative behaviors does not help to modify that behavior. According to Baumrind (2003) “parent’s nonaction signifies to the child approval of his behavior, not neutrality”. By using operant conditioning parents and caregiver can influence the behaviors that their children engage in and exhibit.

Parents and caregiver need to be vigilant when using operant conditioning with young children. In these cases the caregiver’s response to a behavior has to occur soon after the behavior is exhibited in order for the child to make a clear association between the behavior and the response (Sewell & Higgins, 2014). If the response come to late the child may not recognize what they are being rewarded or punished for. When using operant conditioning it is also important to be consistent with your reinforcement or punishment of certain behaviors. According to Sewell and Higgins, (2014) “intermittent reinforcement can be confusing for the child and is ultimately ineffective for the parents because it makes bad behaviors much harder to extinguish”. While it may be overwhelming guardians have to have the same rules for all children present. They must be consistent in rewarding and punishing the same behaviors for all of them. If a child witnesses another child under the same care perform an unacceptable behavior that goes unpunished that child is likely to exhibit the same behavior (Sewell & Higgins, 2014).

            The second practices used to shape a child’s emotional and behavioral development is emotion coaching. According to Santrock (2016), parents who are emotion coaching monitor their child’s emotions, use negative emotions as opportunities to teach their children, assist their children in labeling emotions and teach them how to deal with their emotions (p. 165). There are parents who use a contrasting coaching style called emotion dismissing. According to Lunkenheimer, Shields, and Cortina (2007), “an emotion-dismissing philosophy is present when parents are unaware of low-intensity emotions, view negative emotions as toxic or overwhelming, invalidate or criticize their children’s emotions and want to avoid or protect their child or themselves from negative emotions”. This style of coaching emotions is not recommended and can lead to issues in the child. Children of emotion dismissing parents can be more subdued, sadder, and more fearful. They can also suppress showing their true feelings lack the skills necessary to remedy their emotions and may not know how to respond to others emotions (Denham, Bassett, & Zinsser, 2012). Due to these reasons and many more emotion coaching is more widely used and recommended.

Emotion coaching can hold multiple benefits for the children according to Denham et al. (2012), “Children of emotion coaching parents formulate coherent knowledge about emotional expressions, situations, and causes”. Most emotion coaching takes place when negative emotions cause negative behaviors. It is thought that the coaching of negative emotions offers greater opportunity for learning and intimacy than does the socialization of positive emotions” (Lunkenheimer et al., 2007). The approach to emotion coaching can be done in many ways but often follow the same pattern. Carter (2009) broke it up into three different steps: first label and validate feelings, second deal with the bad behavior, and third problem solve with the child. In the first step the caregiver empathizes with the child in order work through what the child is feeling (Carter, 2009). “Parents may highlight, validate, or clarify children’s emotions, helping them to express emotions authentically, in a regulated manner” (Denham et al., 2012). This step is the most crucial and has to be completed. This is how children work through their emotions and learn to label what they are feeling. “Research has shown that frequent parent–child emotion talk is essential to young children’s emerging emotional competencies” (Lunkenheimer et al., 2007). Next it is important to address the negative behavior. Do not be afraid to punish the child for their negative behavior, no matter how strong of a negative emotion they felt. Mild punishment by a loved and respected caregiver may have beneficial side effects on the child (Baumrind, 2003). After the child has had to pay a consequence for their action it is important to talk through the issue that may have caused the negative behavior and see what can be done to prevent it from happening again.

References

Baumrind, D. (2003). Effects of Authoritative Parental Control on Child Behavior. (892-900). Ipswich, MA:  EBSCO Publishing. Retrieved from http://persweb.wabash.edu/facstaff/hortonr/articles%20for%20class/baumrind.pdf

Carter, C. (2009). Emotion Coaching: One of the Most Important Parenting Practices in the History of the Universe. Greater Good. Retrieved from http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/raising_happiness/post/emotion_coaching_one_of_the_most_important_parenting_practices_in_the_histo

Denham, S. A., Bassett, H. H., & Zinsser. K. (2012). Early Childhood Teachers as Socializers of Young Children’s Emotional Competence. ResearchGate.  Retrieved from https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Katherine_Zinsser/publication/233755854_Early_Childhood_Teachers_as_Socializers_of_Young_Children's_Emotional_Competence/links/0fcfd50b3926f77e3c000000.pdf

Lunkenheimer, E. S., Shields, A. M. & Cortina, K S. (2007). Parental Emotion Coaching and Dismissing in Family Interaction. ResearchGate. Retrieved from https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Erika_Lunkenheimer/publication/227874430_Parental_Emotion_Coaching_and_Dismissing_in_Family_Interaction/links/54adaf870cf24aca1c6f6adc.pdf

Santrock, J.W. (2016). Essentials of Lifespan Development (4^th ed.). New York: McGraw-Hill

Sewell, A. & Higgins, P. (2014). Recognizing The Importance of Parental Influince in Social and Behavioral Development. Developmental Physiology at Vanderbilt. Retrieved from https://my.vanderbilt.edu/developmentalpsychologyblog/2014/04/recognizing-the-importance-of-parental-influence-in-social-and-behavioral-development/